I'm deeply hurting, I want to cry and scream with everything inside of my soul until all the pain and anger leaves me. I want to lay in bed and cry into my pillow for days and then sleep for weeks.
Instead I smile, I fill my voice full of laughter, and my heart full of love. I choose to live every moment of everyday making memories. Being adventurous and compassionate, giving of myself to others, deserving or not. I don't see myself as any different, better or worse from anyone else in the world.
I've been through hell and back more times in my life than most would imagine cursing their worst enemy with. I have valid reasons to loathe and resent all of mankind. I could make excuses for being a cold hearted bitch, for degrading others, for not caring, for not trusting or loving. I have been given every justification in the world time after time again, but I see the world and people in a different way somehow.
Perhaps one day I will get further into the depths of my tormenting childhood and vicious and destructive teenage yrs/adulthood.
For now, I leave you with a few thoughts.
Instead of holding contempt and sadness in your heart, cry for moment/punch a wall...then open your eyes and try seeing the hearts/souls behind the actions. Every action we make in life affects not only us, but those around us, you can only give others control, by allowing their actions to effect your life.
